Letting Go
by A. Martin
Summary: Translation from Dejarlo Ir. James goes to the cemetery to visit his uncle with the guys, when nine months ago he had lost him product of a disease that most people are affected: cancer. It is based on a true story, in part. One-shot. Read and Review.


**Hey everyone! Today I return with something for you.**

** For a start, this the english version of "Dejarlo Ir" and this is the first story I write where my character Ally doesn't appear, because I thought she wasn't necessary... although she appears in other stories later. This month will be full of new chapters and new stories in the series, because now I will have more time to do when I leave from college for summer vacations.**

** This story... really excited me a bit when I finished writing it, because I experienced something similar a few months ago. My uncle died product of cancer and today has been nine months since his death, I really miss him even when I don't show it. Thanks to him, I'm the writer I am today, he read my stories when I was young and helped me in the preparation. In other words, he was very influential in my life.**

** Well, I hope you like it and enjoy it.**

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Letting Go

**I don't own the series and characters of Big Time Rush.**

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Nine months... exactly nine months have passed since the tragedy occurred in the Diamond family. Many people would think that James would be fine at that time, but his friends know that's not like everyone thinks.

Christmas is coming and James decided to travel to Minnesota with his friends to visit his Uncle Chris in the cemetery. Arriving there, the four came in silence to the gravestone that was in the end of the place.

Until they reach the gravestone and James, with a bouquet of flowers in his hand, approached the headstone, where the tears were about to fall down his pale face, but he made an effort to not to cry in front of his friends.

He really didn't think his favorite uncle was going to die the way he did, he knew he had a complicated disease such as cancer, but he didn't think it would come to end his life at the age that he did... 53.

In all that time, he began to remember the day that changed his life so much:

_March 14, 2012, 8:30 am_

_Big Time Rush was in Rocque Records rehearsing their song Worldwide, and James was giving his high note when his cell phone rang, there Gustavo gets angry and breaks up the music "James, shut up your damn cell" Gustavo said._

"_It's my mom," he said and walked out of the recording booth, sitting on the couch "Hello?" he asked answering the phone "Hello James" his mother sobbed "Mom... What's wrong?" he asked now worried._

_James had never heard his mother burst into tears from the divorce with his father "Your uncle... James, your uncle died a few seconds ago," she said, breaking into tears._

_This time, James was immobilized, he couldn't believe what he heard... his favorite uncle who loved no longer exists in the world. "James? Are you in there?" asked his mother from the other line, taking him out of his thoughts._

"_Yes," he lied, knowing that he's not "Okay... I was calling to tell you, I know you're busy but..." she said but she was interrupted "Mom, I'll come back to Minnesota to say goodbye to him" he said forcing his confidence a bit._

"_You don't have to come," she said "Yes I have to, I'll talk to everyone and we'll go to see him," said James now more confident. They continued talking and James tried to comfort his mother when she broke into tears._

_In the end both say goodbye to each other and James hangs up "What happened James?" Kendall asked "Nothing... I need to get out for a while" he said and Kelly lets him out of the office._

_When he left, he leaned against the wall sliding to the floor and brings his legs to his chest, wrapping his arms. He didn't realize that the minutes later he had started to cry._

James stares at the gravestone for a while and decided to sit on a bench that was near it. Keeping hard to not to cry, he stared at his friends who were ordering flowers.

First, he felt bad for failing to help his friends but he also wanted to be alone. James really didn't want everything that happened on that day had happened, and although he doesn't admit it and doesn't express... he really misses his uncle.

For James and his family, it has been very difficult to move on because they were struggling with their relative against cancer for three years. Maybe he never mentioned it, but he was concerned that his uncle was suffering with the disease.

"James" said a voice taking him out of his thoughts and he realizes the caller's voice... Kendall. He notices the look on his friend and sits next to him "Kendall, what are you doing?" he asked not knowing what he said.

"I should ask you the same," said the blonde and then James sighs "Hey, I know it's hard losing your uncle, but he is in a better place," he said Kendall. That James stares at the floor, this time he didn't know what to say.

Now is Kendall's turn to sigh and wrapped an arm around him, at that time Logan and Carlos also joined them on the bench "James, you have to let him go," said Logan and his friend nods.

There James got up where he was and knelt in front of the gravestone, lowering his head in his hands. For this reaction Kendall did the same action and once again wrapped his arm around his friend, this time pulling him into a hug with the other.

James pulled his hands from his face and buried in Kendall's chest, tears streaming down his face. His arms wrapped tightly to his friend, while Kendall rubbed his back with one hand and stroked his hair with the other.

On the bench, Carlos was about to burst into tears and Logan wrapped an arm around him. Both also had felt sorry for his friend and didn't know to do this, although they had never seen James cry since then.

Minutes later, James is separated from his friend, tears still streaming down his face, then Kendall raises his hand and with his thumb, starts to wipe the tears off James' face. When he did, his hand begins to stroke his hair in a gesture of comfort.

"Sorry," James said before groan "No need to apologize, we knew you had to let it out" Kendall said letting his arm around his shoulders. At that time Logan and Carlos also come with them.

"Kendall is right, it's okay to cry" Logan said "Of course not... I supposed I should have overcome this" James shouted and stood up from where he was to leave. The three friends were surprised by that, although only one of them decides to go after him.

James ran all over the cemetery, regardless of the respect for the rest of the deceased and what people say about that act. He just wanted anyone to see him in his weakened state.

Until he felt arms around his waist and held him, knowing who he was "Logan, let me go" he said "I won't James" replied the genius. Both struggled for a while until Logan forces him to sit on the floor.

"James, why did you do that?" asked his friend now worried, he didn't answer so he kept talking "You didn't want anyone seeing you like this" answered himself his question and there James nodded.

Logan wrapped an arm around his friend "James, we're your friends," said first, he didn't answer and that gave him a chance to keep talking "Listen, we all know what happened and for all your family was hard to face the pain... but he is in a better place and I think he feels better than he has been in recent years," he said.

James stares at Logan "But most important is... it's time you let him go, and crying is an option," he said. There Kendall and Carlos got where they were and they sat next to each other, James next to Kendall and Logan along with Carlos.

"Logan is right, we won't judge you for being like this because you have every right to do so," said Carlos "You can trust us," said the leader. James stared at his friends for a few minutes, finally believing in what they said.

James leaned his head in Logan's neck and is carried away by his emotions. Logan wraps his arms around his friend and began to whisper in his ear. Kendall and Carlos move a little and wrapped their arms as well, in a group hug.

XXX

About three hours, James kept his head on Kendall's shoulder, while others stood by him, everyone looking at the gravestone. On the one hand even James misses his uncle, but after his breakdown, began to feel a little better.

"You were very quiet the whole time, what are you thinking?" Kendall asked. There James lifted his head from where it was "I think I should start again," he said, his voice a little scraped from crying.

The three nodded, knowing it was a good idea "And thanks guys... for everything" he finally said something embarrassed "No problem James" said Carlos hitting slightly his friend's shoulder "Yes, we'll always be with you," said Logan and Kendall just nods.

James, for the first time in these days, begins to smile by the words of his friends and stayed with them looking at the gravestone. Although they only stayed for half an hour and they decided to return to their car.

"I'll always remember you Uncle, I see you then" said James staying one second watching the gravestone and suddenly felt a breeze. A breeze was very emotional for him but that also meant strength for start to move on.

With that memory, he also is on the way to the car, with a new sensation in his body. After all, he's letting go his uncle and like he said, sometime later he will see his uncle again.

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_**Albudé "Memo" Donoso Rojas**_

_**June 25, 1958 - March 14, 2012**_

_**R.I.P.**_

**I'm sorry that my story has been quite painful, but... I wanted to get this burden from me. I really felt upset for what happened that day and I know that he will be accompanying me from above, giving me strength to keep going in the right way.**

**I just hope you leave me reviews and thanks for reading.**


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